Four what?
So, you are probably wondering what I mean by pills. A pillar is a vital part of the structure — or, in our case, a person — that provides support and stability. Missing or weak pillows cause instability and ultimately lead to collapse.
In every area of life, there are pillows that will help you succeed if you charge them and work hard to strengthen and balance each one of them.
Let me give a few examples:
Remember when you were at school. Which best students have always had in common? Usually they sat in the first row of classes, spent hours after school in the library and studied on tests a week in advance.
They did not try to just “get around”. Instead, they decided to become the best student they could be, always been the most difficult workers and never chose the easy way.
What about sports pillows? You must practice and be extremely experienced physically, emotionally and mentally. If an athlete has great physical skills, but fade under pressure, they will never be healthy in their sport.
What makes Tiger Woods and Michael Jordan so good? It is not only their physical talents. Instead, it is the way they mentally and emotionally cope with them in difficult situations. They trained for many years because they decided to be the best athlete they could be, always worked harder and never took the easy way out.
Pillars of weight loss? Anyone who has tried a special diet knows that it will not work for a long time - as much as all those “Diets and fitness experts” want you to believe otherwise. In order to lose weight permanently, you must eat right, do cardiovascular exercises and strength training.
The absence of any of them will result in a crash. You can work 8 hours a day, but if you eat more calories than you burn, you will not lose weight. So you have to make a decision once and for all that you will receive and stay healthy, work and never take the easy way.
Are you starting to see a sample here? To be excellent in everything, you must:
o Decide what you want to be great.
o dedicate yourself to spend time and energy
o Never cut corners or look at an easy exit.
What does this have to do with parenthood?
Education requires the same work, like everything else, and sometimes more. You have to work as hard as the best golfer or smart student. You cannot expect this to be easy. You must constantly learn and set the time to strengthen and balance the Four Pillars of Parenthood. Only then will you understand what a great upbringing is.
So I beat it to the ground enough? I made it clear that it takes time and effort to be big? What it will not be easy?
Let me explain each of the four pillars so that you know exactly what you need to do. All of them are equally important, and until you become balanced in all four areas that you realize with your potential, because too much of them will cause you to collapse.
Column 1: Prevent Template
This pillar, also known as your “Family of Origin”, includes your family history, family traditions that you want to continue (or those that you don’t do), and most importantly, how your parents gave birth to you.
In all aspects of life, you can only do what you know. You cannot expect anything from you that you never learned, and it can be very dangerous if you had parents who were negative, did not love you and did not leave you. If most of what they taught you was negative, most of what you teach your children will also be negative - unless you make a change.
But don't worry about your parents, because their parents did the same as their parents, as well as their parents. parents and so on. This is a negative Parenting pattern that you must prevent. You do not want your children to have the same negative experience as you.
Divorce, alcoholism and various types of abuse are extreme examples of negative patterns that pass through generations. Yours may not be so extreme. Instead, it may have been a lack of compassion, love, or love. Perhaps your parents always expected too much from you, and nothing you have ever done was good enough. Whatever it is - if it is harmful or negative - it must be stopped.
Most of the family problems I deal with on a daily basis are not problems with children. Instead, parents have unmet needs in their past, which they project to their children either consciously (they know that they do it) or unconsciously (they do not understand that they do it). So, as your parents gave birth to you, you must turn, because as soon as you start the world with your past, you can become emotionally accessible to your children.
Most parents I have come across this especially. What for? Because it can be severe and sometimes very painful problems. If your parents hurt you physically or emotionally, if they got divorced when you were young or you had different beliefs than they did, it can be very difficult for you to come back and meet with it. This is normal, but can also be very dangerous. Therefore, you must learn to accept your past and stop negative parenting patterns before they damage your children.
Level 2: to conquer the culture
Times continue to change rapidly, and you need to understand what you are as a parent. Now there are more distractions, temptations and effects than when you were a child, and you needed to know about them.
Here are some simple questions for you about the culture in which your children live right now to see how you really know. (See the bottom of this section for answers.)
1. Who is a normal teenager by day and a pop star at night?
2. What do you do if someone turns you on?
3. Who is Troy Bolton?
4. Who is Tom? And you are friends with him?
So how did you do it? Have you got all or most of them? I hope you did this, because these are questions that you must answer if your children are old enough to go to school, have access to a TV or computer. Because I guarantee that even if you do not know these answers, they do it.
Children have so much influence on today's culture. Sex, drugs and violence are everywhere - on the Internet, on television, in movies and in video games - and they all have an incredible effect on young minds.
Do you allow your children online without supervision? When are they allowed to start watching PG-13 or R-rated movies? Which TV channels are in order and which ones should be monitored or banned? Here are some of the problems that you need to solve.
There will always be a new influence - so you need to keep up with the culture so you can stay ready.
answers:
1. Miley Cyrus / Hannah Montana 2. You are on Facebook. (What is Facebook? You need more help than I thought.) 3. He is the star of Disney High School of Music. 4. Tom is one of the founders of Myspace.com, and he currently has 225,916,857 friends on the Internet - yes, that’s more than 225 million people and a vote count.
Component 3: Teach Tools
This is what you are constantly looking for - something that you can use to correct problems with your parents. These tools are important, and you need to learn as much as you can to prepare for any situation you may encounter. But more importantly, you need to learn WHEN and HOW to use these tools properly, because good parenting tools are useless if used incorrectly.
For example, different actions work in different situations. Timeouts can work for a particular child in a particular situation, but not for other children or situations. Accepting privileges may work fine for one child, but not for another. And how long do you take them? Day? A week? It has been shown that all these actions work if they are used correctly.
So you need to learn WHEN to use WHAT to get the best response from your child. You need a bag of educational tricks. You can't just be a single-threaded parent-pony. Sometimes you need to know to cheat or treat your children. Too much? Yes, I thought so, but you understand.
These tools should be located in three key areas: empowerment, discipline and punishment. (Discipline and punishment are not the same thing)
Empowerment: tools for raising children who can take care of themselves - physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, sexually, economically, socially and any other word that ends in -ally.
Discipline: tools for enhancing good behavior, stopping bad behavior and teaching your child how to be honest and respectful.
Punishment: It is part of the discipline, but it is an area that can be extremely confusing. Therefore, additional information on effective methods of punishment used to stop bad behavior is important. Pay attention to the word “effective,” because many of the methods of punishment that you can use may be ineffective and even reinforce bad behavior.
Component 4: cultivate a character
You owe your children and society as a whole to raise children with good character and values. It is your duty to raise them so that they are positive, happy and caring. There is so much anger, hatred and negativity in the world right now that it will be difficult, but you have to do it. Because, since this may sound like a cliche, we need to make the world a better place - one generation at a time.
So how do you do it? You must set a good example and teach your children how to act correctly. Here are some examples:
o Teach your boys to respect girls.
o Teach your girls to value your body.
o Voluntary time and money for the less fortunate.
o Develop spiritually or religiously.
Creating a baby character is more important than ever before. The good news is that if you lead, they will follow them.
Why aren't you a great parent?
"I would be better off, but I just don’t have time."
"I would know everything, but I have no money to buy all these books."
"I would try harder, but my children will not listen to me anyway."
You can come up with any excuse you want, but the only reason you are not the parent you've always dreamed of is the following:
You chose not to be.
It's simple. It doesn't matter what the people around you do or the situation you are in - you can become a great parent if you want. It is completely up to you.
You must commit to building and balancing the “Four Pillars of Parenthood” so that you can grow as a parent. Do not look for new “revolutionary” ideas, because without solid support around you a “terrific” new tool or technique will never succeed in the long term.
They may not be as interesting or interesting as some of the ideas, but they work. You should never feel "lost" as a parent. You should always have a choice, and these pillows give you that.
So are you ready?
This is the time in which you made changes — real, changing changes in your upbringing. You need to decide right now that you will never again look for an easy way out and devote yourself to working, studying and improving the Four Pillars of Parenthood.
You have to be 100%, because it takes time and effort. It will not be easy, but worth nothing. This is not a quick solution to your problems, but it is the only way to achieve lasting change.
